Soldier On

When you are serious about manifesting the life of your dreams there is NOTHING that will stand in your way. Instead of victim mentality, you refuse to see any of the illusiory shit around you that tries to hop up for your attention.

“I had a gun pointed at me…” That was something that happened to me yesterday turned into “Damn, the place I was staying had a severe storm and thank god I wasn’t there. I would have been out and driving.”

There was a severe storm in the carolinas after I left related to a tropical storm.

We carry on in my legacy. Let me introduce you to myself. I am Jen McCollum. I have worn many hats but I am a Navy Brat and wanted desperately to serve with a friend Natalie from high school. I was meant to and because I allowed Keiffer to talk me out of it, my blessing was deferred for a long as time. I sat in trauma soup my entire life until my higher self started helping get my butt out of the dirt and trained my body again.

I was always super fit. ALWAYS. I took Karate as a child. I figure skated, rode horse back, mucked stalls, did some MMA with the boys in my karate class. I was the badass that threw dudes twice her size over her head. I could spin and make them dizzy. Then I would win our “fight nights,” and delighted at throwing their asses gently into the air.

Being outside is something I missed terribly and that is why this whole damn homeless journey hasn’t been shit. I have done things I wanted to do and everything that I could think to stretch me.

Today for instance. Look ya’ll I couldn’t make it up. I am not a bullshitter but know many. My uncles were in command in armed forces. Lifers. My dad served a short tour and got out. I have cousins that are Seals, Officers and people that have had to be the avenging angels.

“St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Protect us against the wickedness and snares of the devil.”

This is one of my main prayers along with St. Francis and that of “the light of God surrounds me. The love of God enfolds me. The power of God encompasses me.”

I understand why some choose to sit in the shit and smear it all over them. I am not that woman. No. I just arrived at a women’s shelter today. They tell me to take a break. Nope. Not logical. My logic says:

How do I get out of here fastest because it’s an environment that decays. I dislike that. I prefer nature. I prefer being around cows, horses, being outside and hell I will fucking muck stalls and raise game if needed. This is a cycle of life.

I eat whatever my body says I need. I also keep people the fuck out of my life that make harsh demands of me. I lost my car in a big city and I’m thinking. Ah, well. I can find another ride. Clearly the person pointing the gun at me and the jerk I had been around were just fuel for me to get to my next check point.

A person told me I sounded military. Well hell yes lady. You sound like you only see the negative and I don’t work that way. With men of honor and valor in my family…what else do I do. I will not sit in the shit. I refuse to act homeless. I FUCKING REFUSE.

I am on an adventure headed into the orbit of the love of my life. I know. I don’t know how. I just do. I throw darts in every goddamn direction until they stick and I train myself.

Today:

I got rid of most of the clothes that I brought from NC and from the other shelter. “It’s currency. Go ahead and give it up and ask for EXACTLY what you want.”

They asked me to make a list of what I “needed” and you’d be surprised at what I was given.

The color outfits. Camo. I even traded sweatshirts with someone and hers matched my outfit perfectly. For the bolt sneakers I received two pairs of shoes. One I didn’t realize I needed. I got some silver crocs. I missed wearing them in the past. I also got a rucksack (until I can snag a go bag from a Navy surplus store).

I have fed myself and listened to exactly what my body said. Something had told me to ask the girl for her camo top earlier. I did when I got the purple one from staff here that exactly matched her outfit.

Currency. Give and give to the universe with abandon. Don’t hoard shit. There are people that come into shelters with so much. Something said give everything away. I don’t want people being able to recognize me from where I left before. I will have to put in stuff for protective orders and ain’t saying where I’m staying now. Non descript. Stay off the grid. I am manifesting a cowbow hat and boots for myself. I found out there is a farm around here that I could work at and they would give me a place to stay.

I found a town I would love to live near. I screenshoted photos so I can manifest exactly what I prefer. I see cows, chickens and a beautiful farm well outside the city. Far enough to get lost but close enough that I don’t have to worry. Hell. When you start shifting the doors of perception [and “The Doors and other music play to suit my mood and reflect it…butterflies find me on freeways and I do karate kada in a grassy area near a shelter].

I am absolutely safe. This is a much better shelter than before. When they gave me the rucksack I turned in my sneakers just as I had intended. I sit at a kiddy sized table working while everyone else sleeps or does whatever. Not pissing on that. I just live far differently because I was taught to. I don’t need much period. “Why do they have so much goddamn stuff,” I kept thinking. It seems like a lifestyle and I stay away from it. I don’t allow people into my energy. If they feel off, I walk the other direction. It is not worth my time.

I manifested a whole new wardrobe today and every thing I could have needed or wanted. They told me to rest. I said no. I am a soldier. I see myself in my uncles that were lifers and I am strong as hell.

Today proved that more to myself. I had been abused my entire life. I will be getting restraining orders. Those people will never be able to get in my orbit again. The unverse and Jen spake it thus and so.

Miene menie tenkel upharsin. The writing on the walls. Those ex’s in NC have been founded wanting and they are tossed. poof. Distant memory.

I had to lay down in a fucking white van covering my head today because I thought I would get shot because of what happened yesterday. My energy is too damn important to this earth. I am alpha female. I do not follow anyone. I make my own rules up and I flip the fucking script when I need to. I do what the universe asks and my singing and story are currency.. Why? I know because I am here. That’s my logic. Take it or leave it.

I sing. I am working on new projects where people can’t see my face so publicly for a while. Staying off grid as possible. I know some people who are able to handle that and I have wanted off grid since like 2014 I think.

I chose me over every damn body. People can say no when I ask. Usually its not that but just a slight wobble re-correct.

Your life will change when YOU change.

I am Jen. I am alpha wolf and I am here to remind you all what can be done. I left my abusers on June 30th and on July 22nd and I will not look back other than to file reports and keep them the fuck away. I am disinclined to aquiessce to any proposition that I don’t want. I am in control of me savvy.

I am the captain of my ship and am looking for a best mate. I can do it alone too.

Some see themselves as homeless but I don’t. I am just a traveler. One who stopped giving handouts but does shit anonymously because people can’t prey on me that way. I blocked a bitch today because she got nasty with me and demanded. Fuck no. You aren’t allowed to.

My ancestor John led rebellions in Scotland and was sent to the colonies on pain of death upon his return to the British isles. I say no to anything that does not vibrate with me.

I am Jen who loves animals, nature and herself so goddamn much she will cut off her anything that comes at the vibe. I won’t be posting as many photos from here on out. It’s important for security and privacy reasons. I protect those I love most and part of that is myself. I will be creating music and working but the most you may get from me now is a non descript photo. A sky full of stars. An ocean of turqoiuse. A desert. A forest. A shoe. An animal. When you’ve had a gun pointed at you and had a female start harassing you right after that, it’s safer to just #floaton .

I may check in from time to time, but I can’t make any promises or tell ya’ll where I’m at anymore. Know that I am safe. I do give a fuck, but all the fucks go to me and mine from here on out.

Peace Out!

Jeni from the block